eggstone2000: do they have those scooters there. the invalid scooters. for invalids. and lazy people.
fliend of eggstone2000: yes but in [...] they were EVERYWHERE.
eggstone2000: when i see people on those, i can't help but go "hmm. maybe that person is a cripple. but MAYBE that person is just fucken lazy!" you know that there must be some people who use those things, who just use 'um 'cause they are lazy.
fliend of eggstone2000: i want one. so yes. i do know. with a basket on the front. and i'll get a dog that can run alongside. that can be its exercise. roffle.
eggstone2000: sometimes i don't feel like shaving. and i go for like a week without shaving. but then eventually i can't resist anymore, and shave. but i've never thought "hmm, i think i'd like to give up on WALKING. and just get one of those scooters." i mean. i guess when i don't shave, it is embarrassing. but at least i don't go places with my family on one of those SCOOTERS. imagine being a child and you have to go to shopping with your mom and she's on a cripple-scooter and she's not even a cripple. could anything BE more embarrassing to you.
fliend of eggstone2000: what if there's a jr. seat for you on the back though? then you'd be like "RAWK!"
eggstone2000: ok. actually, i think it would be cool to get one of those scooters. 'cause then it puts doubt in people's minds. like, maybe they should offer more help to me than to the typical customer, 'cause i am on one of those cripple-scooters? and when they don't, i can act like they are committing a heinous insult by being insensitive to my scooter. also i want one of those scooters so i can give up on walking. why even use my legs any more AT ALL, if i don't have to???
fliend of eggstone2000: get 'em chopped off and get those graphite things.
eggstone2000: oh yeah! total cyborg.

and then i realized that i am ripping off a dan clowes joke, except now it's become a for-real thing that you see everywhere. like when people all over the yay area started driving around with those whistle-tips on their car mufflers after they saw bubb rubb on channel 4. oh. but when a person is like "i no longer use my legs. this scooter is now my legs!"... that is pretty futuristic and total cyborg. "I AM SCOOTER-SAPIEN, EVOLUTION AT WORK. MY WHEELS GIVE ME THE POWER TO ROLL OVER SMALL ANIMALS AND SPEEDBUMPS."