lately when i'm in my car i'm on a nostalgia trip with killing joke and it's so hardcore the way it snaps back & forth between its soothing new wave synths, epileptic gang of four art school guitars, lazy spooky dub bass and filthy bludgeoning led zeppelin heavy metal drums. why aren't they a household name? i don't understand. when i'm sitting at home, i listen to billy joel, cyndi lauper and for christ's sake the doobie brothers... all this stuff i woulda dismissed as such unchallenging garbage when i was younger then one day in the supermarket or the shoe store you hear the song that makes you realize just how good he or she or they were and how they are similar to something else that you always loved and now you are privy to a great secret that all your friends are too snobby to see 'cause they swore just like you that they'd never be caught dead listening to piano rock or torch songs or any of that geezer bullshit.

my day-to-day life has gotten so bereft of any emotion that i get teary-eyed while watching movies now. even the really stupid funny ones, during the scenes that aren't supposed to be sad. jennifer aniston eating a granola bar that she just dropped on the ground? here come the waterworks, i'm positively choked up. my sleep has gone ballistic. i wake up mumbling obscenities leftover from a dream that i've had a huge fight with a distant relative. i wake up to catch myself actually spitting in bed, from having a dream that i've spat in someone's face after she said "but my dog is a good dog" while her doberman is trying to chew my hand off. what is going on??? is it some kind of inevitable compensation for the dullness of the weary world awake and too much time spent submersed in ape escape & gradius v punctuated by spontaneous fits of hopping around for no apparent reason?