if i keep taking the full throttle approach to weekends, i might have to
consider buying a party helmet or a suit of armor.� here's me at fake,
wondering when things will pick up.� here are lonely guys outside fake,
thinking i'm approachable and talking to me about this and that. here's me wondering if they're trying to hit on me, because the dudes are so gay. things pick up. sarah shows up and here's this midget, here's me
actually being totally jealous --of all things-- of a guy that's like 30 years
old and 3 feet tall. here's me trying to werk johnny knoxville from
"jackass" a bit.� "so... you're on TELEVISION, eh???� entertainment
tonight?� no wait, don't tell me.� a current affair.� i heard you
guys are crazy skaters.� or, skaters at least."� here's me running
back and forth across the street, through thick traffic.� just for kicks.
here's us going for a drive, listening to this tape i made with shampoo, pete
shelley, gang of four, satisfact and the au pairs on it.� i keep swerving
toward parked cars while doing a drawling jay-z impression.� i stop
the car and go for a walk because she's on the phone with her mom instead of
telling me how to get to the diner she wanted to go to.� "oh wow, we're at
the ocean."� i'm surprised that the sea is just a few steps away, and i
decide that i want to go touch it.� instead i slip on the rocks, and
suddenly there's blood.� when i come back from my walk, sarah goes "WTF??� why are you bleeding?" and
she insists that i let her drive my car.� so she does.� at the diner
i'm exchanging pleasantries with constantino while casually waving my bloody
hand in his face.� i smirk while sarah frets about the possibility that
i've provided hemoglobic fodder to the rumor mill.� before the check comes,
i've made her smile and laugh a lot, she's knocked a glass of water over, and i
complain "ugh.� look what you gone and done, swisser.� you made me
EAT."
we interview each other on digital video because we're just so damned
interesting and sparklingly witty.� she gives me a baby picture.� i
compose a haiku for her.� and then several more haikus.� they're all
ostensibly about bands, but they're little more than midget puns.� she
finds them incredibly unfunny.
mbv
biggest black boner
you made me realize, you
smashed that white midget
