today sarah and i went for sushi at no name sushi.� everyone calls it "no name sushi," but once you sit down and order, their menu has the name of the restaurant on it.� but for the life of me i can't remember the name of the place after i read it on the menu.� they need to put a sign in front of the restaurant to remind people of the name when they go in, go out, and pass by.� but then the place wouldn't be no name anymore.� we both needed to get out & about, though.� she equated being holed up at home, crazy & depressed, with a "la brea tar pit of misery."� i preferred to call it the "bucket of despair," which i also thought sounded like a really good title for a movie.� sarah didn't think so, but she conceded that i might be on to something when i suggested that all you have to do is attach it to a big name franchise in order to make it sound exciting.� "george lucas and stephen spielberg will give me a ton of money for my title indiana jones and the bucket of despair!!� how could they not?"� i also coined the term "fuckdiculous."� we walked around chinatown, went in the shops and played with toys, and hanged out with the schmaos & looked at her design portfolio at her house, talking all day long about this & that... people, high school, books, the seemingly neverending desire to take control of your own life and such, etc.� about how that aaliyah song "i refuse" is an �ber-dramatic theme song for people on the verge of saying "i won't take your shit anymore.� i won't let you step on me again." it seems like, the more i go to parties and shows and stuff, the more my life revolves around those things, the less i talk with anyone about anything that even matters... and knowing certain people for like 2 or 3 years, sometimes i think "yeah! these people are awesome! i love hanging out with them!" then i realize that i don't even know a lot of them. i don't even know some of their last names. how shallow and empty it seems. we all need friends, desperately so, that we can see and spend time with in real life... and not just at parties. miniature golf and a picnic are sort of on my official agenda, now, i believe. and one of these days, i'm going to make some collages.